Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in clayinpa's LiveJournal:

Friday, July 10th, 2009
11:34 pm	'V'ahavta' is on my summer soundtrack V'ahavta by Marty Goetz Actually all of Marty's work is a blesing to me Dry Bones by Greg Silverman Greg is a cool friend and loves music he has a rage that i can only dream of reaching adonai el shaddai by Joel Chernoff (Comment on this)
Monday, June 15th, 2009
1:42 pm	Wanna buy some clockmaker? Clockmaker I would open a Clock Shop carrying quality wall mantel and floor clocks i would also make it key that we service clocks of all kinds (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
9:31 am	Dan Juster is someone I admire Dan Juster his faith Rev. L Allen Welliver His Faith , love, gentleness,. his ability to instill values and point me tuward my calling Rabi avner Solomon His faith in HaShem , and Integrity Trina Stephens I admire how far she has come in just 3 short years (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 4th, 2009
6:26 pm	Please get theese songs out of my head some songs are just too painful to hold in ones head You raise me up by josh groban It reminds me of someone I love dearly that devastated me amazingly we've only just begun by The Carpenters after 30+years when will I begin all the time by Barry Manilow it's a lie in my life (Comment on this)
6:10 pm	I'm in the Hall of Fame I am famous for being a very foolish person who does not know when to stop careing.When you allow yourself to care, there is no way to avoid the pain and loss that you will have handed to you every day of your life. Do not expect happiness or rewards for your good actions. But know that every mistake you make will never ever be forgotten (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
12:36 pm	I get my news from the Internet (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 26th, 2009
7:30 pm	I promise it won't hurt much Well i will have a book for them welcoming them to the community and giving the locations of all the people whose brains they should eat before they come for mine. Hmmm i think your name is there on the list, page 813 (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 19th, 2009
11:23 pm	Happy valentines day After giving my Girl friend of several years the first real gift i could afford and heading home for the rest of the week ,she sent me a dear clay letter saying how the gift was nothing short of magnificent ...BUT she can not accept it since she has found another that she loves( her boss's husband) did i mention that this was on Valentines day and the new guy was really old (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 16th, 2009
12:30 pm	the doctor Your result for The Doctor Who Test... The Doctor 36 Personality! You are The Doctor! Brilliant! You are intelligent, charming, kind and full of crazy goodness! You enjoy EVERYTHING the world has to offer you! (As long as it isn't morally wrong.) You love to travel and help people along the way. Everything you do has some sort of benefit. You have many friends that love and admire you. So Congrats! Take The Doctor Who Test at HelloQuizzy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 5th, 2009
12:26 am	Welcome to 2009 As we enter the new year I think about the things i have missed and those i have had the privelege of seeing. after finally getting a job i am working daily till the end of the school year. I have gained a new respect for those that share my ocupation as a school bus driver. It is not a job for bums or stupid people it is a challange and really makes me think how easy all my other jobs were. to those i call friend i have a new number which you may obtain by e lailing me at roehclay at that aol thing. ok and the 2008 year in review January left me still unemployed and stressed as did feb , march , and april . May i posted to Live journal and indeed i did miss Balticon last year.i really wanted to see my friends tovah and EricaVDG. june and july also left me without the chance to be at conferences i always go to .oh well . august still not working but was gifted a trip to Halifax Nova scotia and the conference for the religious organization i am affiliated with since 1999. after meeting with the organizations beit din I finally recieved my ordination as a messianic minister.the following week i attended the PA EMS conference in harrisburg,and was notified that the nightmare that started a full year earlier was finally over ( i am not a child abuser ..duhhh)2 weeks later i started CDL driver training to become a school bus driver for Durham school services... High Holy Days were as they should be , times for reflection and turning away from past foolishness.and went well in June my house mate and i started planning to move her trailer from M&G to crestview mobile home park packing was done in early august and we finally got the occupancy permit the week after christmas. Channukah was very lonely for me this year and the issues ii have been dealing with for the last 14 months again resurfaced in a slightly different manner . I now am driving a flat nose school bus for the local vo-tech school. i also started in october working with a praise and worship team in Red Lion Pa and am ministering to jewish people that are attending local churches . 2009 brings a new goal I am writing a proposal for the organization i am part of suggesting our anual conference be held in York Pa .Who knows i think it is doable and we have a good part of teh logistics ready to research. It is my hope that many of my friends on live journal will see it clear to keep in touch ...i am also on Yahoo dot com 's messenger as Kolshalom love you all and see you soon clayton (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 1st, 2008
12:47 am	no Balticon This year Saddly i could not make it to Balticon this year   (8 months without a job dampens all the basics of activities) still searching  and hope to find something soon. was looking forward to seeing my friend Tovahs, and especially my long lost friend ericavdg i supposeit will be another year till i get to do a face to face . well i had best hit the hay , much to do   will post again soon i hope Current Mood: depressed Current Music: verdi requium (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
9:40 pm	when do you stop grieving? lets just say this  My mom died 24  years ago this week i found out 6 months after the fact i will post more later  I need closure on this and I know I am going to hear only that I need to accept the fact that she is gone... well from most people anyway.  I  will tell the full story later  just understand that I am not pleasent to be around this week or next  it is like this every year in may and december  i get to morn 2 days  , LOL   I must sound like a blooming idiot , but to hear the story over and over from people that knew my mom  and heard her say that  I did not love her cause I never called. just slams the anger back into me and does not allow me to heal.  I think I am going to drive up to Milton  where I  am from and have my own little memorial service  at the grave  I am going to write what I feel and how I felt and what she meant to me . iI will go up and leave my words  there with her sealed and in the earth  and pray she can forgive me for not being more the son I should have been. the early 80s for me were ones of total poverty, and sadness . i entered an abusive marriage  and the day I  found out mom was dead  Her only statement was " get over it   she's been dead since May , so how much did she leave you " my reply: Nothing it went to my aunt DN .  her final comment on it was "loser"   . my entire family is now Dead  and I miss only one soul out of them all. that is my MOM   this time of year and around Christmas/ Chanukah, are very hard on me  and I  hope I can soon get past my resentment of my aunt. must have been nice to sell her home in maryland and move to Va Beach  with the money from her husband , and from my moms estate since she got it all...  She is gone now  so   i guess it is time to stop my anger. we will see Current Mood: depressed Current Music: verdi requium (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 30th, 2006
12:04 pm	i knew i was odd Your Quirk Factor: 62% You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average." How Quirky Are You? gotta love it Current Mood: as in the adjdescribing me Current Music: steve mcconnel, sim shalom (2 Comments |Comment on this)
11:25 am	a short post about me Born a Jew i was adopted into a christian home at slightly after my 8th day, i know this because i met 2 years ago someone that was at my bris.. happy happy joy joy. I am A JEW not a christian , not a mormon , not a cat or a dog or an idiot or a jerk( well sometimes) , i was raised to believe things that i had no idea were anything but what everyone else in our small community believed. now 50 years later i am still a Jew , i live a Jewish life , i do things my people do and even lacking the training i have come to be told by many of my traditional friends that i am more a jew than they themselves are ( i just shake my head and feel sad since i had to fight to learn everything and to even find my true heritage. i resent people telling me that because i believe things a little different from them that i am no longer a jew , i am insulted and degraded by people that are Jewish, that do not attend shul , do not do the mitvot, do not celebrate the feasts and yet bow to buddha, krishna, and dozens of other gods. where it says in Torah that we are to have no other gods . .. i do not worship 3 gods i worship Adoshem, the G-d of Avraham Yitzak , and Yakov. the creator of the Universe , the G-d of Israel . it is he alone that grants salvation. and yes i acknowledge that Yeshua Bar Yoseph is the Messiah foretold in scripture , not another god , but the incarnation of Ha shem , but still not a second god simply a physical dispensation. i ask you to look at me as a Jew , plain and simple , and stop calling me christian , or Jews for Jesus , or other derogatory names . I am Clayton a practicing Jew who deserves respect . and who is not trying to force his beliefs on anyone. but if you ever have questions i will of course answer them or point you to the correct people who can. 'nuff of my ranting i have so many things to be happy about now in my life that i am not going to allow more than a moment of down time... shalom clay Current Mood: at what am told Current Music: steve mcconnel (Comment on this)
11:14 am	more Me well time flies in college and as time went on many things happened, first several major losses , then the stupidity of not completing my degree. family counseling has become a very lucrative "business" in the years since the 70s. i went on to lose my main job as well as my other jobs i held when in school , and became what in my eyes was a failure. this was a downward spiral for me and nearly cost me my sanity on several occasions. post college life was an eye opener. it sent me flying into a reality tract that was not what i expected . instead of having the classes to bide my time and to keep me in a positive mode , now i had to do so by other means and it was not working. dating was out as i was hurt deeply, so i did nothing but sink into depression. more time and this one person suddenly determined he had something to look at and thus started living again( more on this sometime ) finding work had become a full time job in the years when jobs were just not there, and when i finally found them the employers made it clear i was there at their pleasure and deserved far less than i earned. it was many years before i felt i had value well next is relationships and a string of jobs and fears lots of fun ....not Current Mood: flustered (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
3:21 pm	Part 2 : the college years in my life high school and college overlapped in a somewhat strange way i was i the upward bound program in HS and then the E.O.P. program between H.S. and starting at PSU. i started out as an Electrical engineering major then the following year started the individual and family studies / family counseling curriculum due to sef=veral incidents and loss of a dear friend i did not complete the degree program. i did have some of the best times of my life during thoise years and i do not regret any of it ....the choirs , student patrol and various church choirs as well as fellowships and other activities made me part of who i am today. some day i hope to meet up with old friends from the penn state choirs. more to follow (Comment on this)
11:47 am	it might work ? You Are 40% Weird Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it! How Weird Are You? Current Mood: grin Current Music: da yoopers (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
1:38 pm	to bring up to date;part 1 the early years Born Howard Eugene Walmer in May of 1955 , i was adopted by christian parents and raised as such , my name became Clayton , nickname "porky" good student in elementry school , less so in Jr high . loved my music all the way tho. parents Father an alchoholic and mom an abused hard working woman i was raised by mom and as time went on i paid dearly for a strong female influence on my life . was the class joke all therough school and seldom had any real friends . high points in school were geek specials chorus , library club, projection club, etc. went to North east Pa district chorus in 1973, and sang solo and in chorus in several church choirs and musical groups grad in '73 middle of class with a cert in electrical ,along with diploma. part two : the college years (Comment on this)